To often in our christian walk, we are "undercover Christians"...like agents on a secret mission we do not share our story or more important the story of salvation offered by our LORD!
I struggle with sharing my faith, even with my Christian brothers and sisters because my beliefs are often against the "norm" of what others believe. For example, I do not believe in the "rapture" taught by most churches. I researched the start of the teaching and found it based on a dream by a young girl in the
1500's then expounded on and exaggerated by her pastor. God teaches in his word (in proverbs I believe) that the righteous shall never be gone from the earth, yet at the point of a rapture, the earth will be void of HIS children if even for a moment. This coupled with the fact that if I had a stranger to Christ the bible, there is no way for them to "see" rapture in his word...it would be a secret message and we are told by the Word of God that no part of HIS word is left to "private interpretation" and that is exactly what the rapture is.
I also long to place the HOLY days written in Gods word in our home. Our culture has gotten away from the old feasts, but when you study early Christian history, they followed these holy days. God did not place these in HIS word because HE needed them, they were placed to help his children stay on track by remembering what HE has given us. Instead we celebrate heathen holidays that have been manipulated to try to reflect christianity. The biggest ones being Christmas and Easter. Easter is based on a pagan celebration of the God Estra...the eggs, bunnies etc that we pass around are all symbols of fertility...estra(I dont know if the spelling is correct) is a goddess of fertility.
When I chose not to eat pork, I was responded to by "your not going old testament are you?"...by a Christian sister.
When I share these veiws with those who are in the church, then I find that I am ostrized by fellow christians, and am treated like an idiot for not following the teaching of a church, but my heart is strong that this is what God has shown me. I long to find a church body that shares my beliefs, but to no avail, so often times I feel so alone.
However, I have found occassion when God has opened doors for me to witness of HIS great love and power, times I have been with a family member or friend in the hospital and just prayed with families of other patients, I recall one woman whose husband was near death, we prayed for him and God provided an answer to this woman's cry, I pray she still holds onto our LORD. This weekend I got the opportunity to witness to an 8th grader who goes to church, but does not see the power of HIS love. What a joy that moment was as he opened his heart...I think he is going to aske his parents to homeschool him to.
I have also found that I tend not to share my faith, not because I am ashamed of Christ, but I am concerned that I will be a shame to Christ. I am far from perfect, and struggle with my walk daily. "I do the things I don't want to do"...How can I be an Christian example when my own life is filled with sin? How can someone look at my life and see Christ?
As far as my whole story...it is a lifetime of HIM coming to me. Our LORD is persistant, from my youth, I would attend churches and seek HIM, I just did not see that that was what I was doing at the time. My in-laws have flat out told me I talk of God "to much"...they don't want to be around me because of that. My life in retrospect, God has been at each step even when I could not see HIM. I don't have a story where I was sitting on a Mountain top and GOD revealed Himself to me, it was a slow process of me surrendering my life to HIM. I dont need 10 minutes, I need a book! Thank you Lord for never giving up on me.
www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com Please join us for a study on growing in your faith!
Showing posts with label Growing in your Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Growing in your Faith. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Running the good race.
To often, as Christians, we don't run a good race, we take on an attitude of a series of sprints versus a long distance runner. When we watch a runner training for a marathon, he does not go out for the first time on the day of a marathon and just start running full speed, for he knows that he will collapse long before the race is over. He prepares his body and his mind for the run. He runs daily, he watches what he feeds his body, he is sure that he is drinking water. These things become engrained in him and he does not detour from them. His eye is on the prize, to finish the marathon.
As a Christian, we should do the same as the marathon runner...watch what we feed our body and our mind by delving into the Word, feed our body with the nourishment of God and drink of the Living Water given so freely by our saviour. We must watch for block that detour us from our goal, to keep our eye on the goal, a real, and consistent relationship with GOD.
To often, we will go through a time in which we feel our relationship with God is strong, we are ready, we jump out of the starting blocks at full bore, we delve into projects at church, we delve into being everything for everybody, we suddenly don't have time for nourishment (the word), we have to run here and there (we don't drink of the living water), and we take lightly our LORDS command to REST. We collapse, discouraged, hurting, distant for God, and as we lay there trying to catch our breath, the evil one steps in and reminds of us our failure...since we are not nourished, that diseased lie takes hold..."I cannot do it"...
As I think on this, I am now going through a time when I cannot seem to keep up, even some days opening the word seems beyond what I can do (Lynn, I thank you for this meme as it helps me more than you will know). I can see why God has me here, I can see the benefits for the others in my life who I so love, but some days it feels overwhelming, to much, exhausted and broken, I am like a marathon runner who heads up a mountain road and cannot see the top...the end...yet, there are days I just want to stay in bed feeling defeated before the day starts. Can I run a good race, I can, only because my Father God has wrapped His loving arms around me and holds me up step by step, each day, with a promise of this season shall pass. For now I am leaning on this verse regulary, for today, this is the verse God has written to help me through this time.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (New King James Version)
6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com
Join us for this meme about growing in your Faith...
As a Christian, we should do the same as the marathon runner...watch what we feed our body and our mind by delving into the Word, feed our body with the nourishment of God and drink of the Living Water given so freely by our saviour. We must watch for block that detour us from our goal, to keep our eye on the goal, a real, and consistent relationship with GOD.
To often, we will go through a time in which we feel our relationship with God is strong, we are ready, we jump out of the starting blocks at full bore, we delve into projects at church, we delve into being everything for everybody, we suddenly don't have time for nourishment (the word), we have to run here and there (we don't drink of the living water), and we take lightly our LORDS command to REST. We collapse, discouraged, hurting, distant for God, and as we lay there trying to catch our breath, the evil one steps in and reminds of us our failure...since we are not nourished, that diseased lie takes hold..."I cannot do it"...
As I think on this, I am now going through a time when I cannot seem to keep up, even some days opening the word seems beyond what I can do (Lynn, I thank you for this meme as it helps me more than you will know). I can see why God has me here, I can see the benefits for the others in my life who I so love, but some days it feels overwhelming, to much, exhausted and broken, I am like a marathon runner who heads up a mountain road and cannot see the top...the end...yet, there are days I just want to stay in bed feeling defeated before the day starts. Can I run a good race, I can, only because my Father God has wrapped His loving arms around me and holds me up step by step, each day, with a promise of this season shall pass. For now I am leaning on this verse regulary, for today, this is the verse God has written to help me through this time.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (New King James Version)
6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com
Join us for this meme about growing in your Faith...
Friday, April 30, 2010
Seeking God's Will
To know the will of God is the greatest knowledge.
to find the will of God is the greatest discovery,
and to do the will of God is the greatest achievement.
If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour. John 12:26
To know the will of God seems so difficult to a lot of us. There have been times when I sought council from a "mature" christian, but found later that their advice directly contradicted what the word teaches. There have been times when prayers seem to go unanswered (they have been answered, just not the way I thought it should be).
As we walk through this life, many times we seek council, we pray for wisdom, we seek the scriptures but no answer seems to come to us. Then, my beloved, the answer is wait. In our fast food culture, this is not something we are acclimated to and quickly want to take action on our own...to many times we want to serve God, but only in an advisory position, how we think it should be.
I use to think that people who could rattle off verses from the top of their head were wise, they had wisdom like I wanted, but when I sit back, to often they are so proud of their knowledge, they forget to apply it. Wisdom is not only the knowledge of who God is, but also having the desire and ability to apply it to our own lives.
How do we know when we have wisdom? With this, I pray I never know fully, for I fear that pride will then envelope me and I will loose what I have learned.
For me, I find that through my youth, my schooling, my own searches, I have been greatly influenced by the ways of the world. Many views have I changed thoughout the years as I realize they directly contradicted the WORD OF GOD. I find that I pull away more and more from the ways of the world, (Be ye not conformed to this world) as they interfere with my ablity to see the will of God when it is literally in front of my face.
Thank you Lynn for posting these on your site ( www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com )
I look forward to each weeks post.
to find the will of God is the greatest discovery,
and to do the will of God is the greatest achievement.
If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour. John 12:26
To know the will of God seems so difficult to a lot of us. There have been times when I sought council from a "mature" christian, but found later that their advice directly contradicted what the word teaches. There have been times when prayers seem to go unanswered (they have been answered, just not the way I thought it should be).
As we walk through this life, many times we seek council, we pray for wisdom, we seek the scriptures but no answer seems to come to us. Then, my beloved, the answer is wait. In our fast food culture, this is not something we are acclimated to and quickly want to take action on our own...to many times we want to serve God, but only in an advisory position, how we think it should be.
I use to think that people who could rattle off verses from the top of their head were wise, they had wisdom like I wanted, but when I sit back, to often they are so proud of their knowledge, they forget to apply it. Wisdom is not only the knowledge of who God is, but also having the desire and ability to apply it to our own lives.
How do we know when we have wisdom? With this, I pray I never know fully, for I fear that pride will then envelope me and I will loose what I have learned.
For me, I find that through my youth, my schooling, my own searches, I have been greatly influenced by the ways of the world. Many views have I changed thoughout the years as I realize they directly contradicted the WORD OF GOD. I find that I pull away more and more from the ways of the world, (Be ye not conformed to this world) as they interfere with my ablity to see the will of God when it is literally in front of my face.
Thank you Lynn for posting these on your site ( www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com )
I look forward to each weeks post.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Am I afraid of Death?
Today I catch up with my friend Lynn at www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com on our weekly meme Growing in Faith.
In the weekly study she has touched many things in which I have not thought of in a while, or just not cemented my thoughts on. Death being one of them. I am grateful for this as it causes me to really prove all things.
As a child I was fearful of death, due to lack of understanding the "bigger" picture. It was definately fear of the unknown moreso than to fear death itself.
Since we were a military family, we did not live close to grandparents and other family that much. I remember visiting my grandfather when I was about 8 or so, he quickly became a hero to me. He was so tall (from a childs persective) I was sure he could reach up and touch the stars, literally. A couple of years later, Grandpa and Gramma came to Arizona to visit us, again he filled my heart with knowing how much he loved me. I sat on his lap, his huge stature I could not help but feel safe.
After they returned home, my Grandpa died. I was angry and heartbroken. It was not fair.
Time went by, I got to spend time with my Nana and Grandad in England, another hero in my Grandad, we worked together for a while, and I lived with them for about 6 months. My darling Nana, never sat during the day, always busy, she patiently teaches me to knit, we take walks together, the gift of time. Then my sweet Grandad, always quick with a smile and a hug. Grandad died of cancer, Nana died of a stroke.
Again when they died, I was angry and broken...It was not fair!
Time goes by. My dad, my hero, for I always was a daddy's girl. I sat by his side, he struggled for years with this disease that was now killing him. He struggles for breath, unable to wake, but not quite asleep. I reassure him when he calls for my mother when she is out of the room that she will be back in just a moment. The breathing becomes more shallow, longer between each breath, until his chest no longer rises and falls. My hand on his chest, no beating. His hand is limp. His pain riddled body now looks at rest. This time the pain is unbearable, I cry out. I am heartbroken. But the anger is no longer there.
In reflection, the anger was misdirected fear of not knowing what happens. I had heard of all of the worldly teachings...maybe he will come back as a rat or a dog, maybe they would come back as a president or a pauper. Maybe there was nothing after death. Death scared me. Until my father's death, I had never witnessed death. It is an ugly, painful thing in which satan rejoices as he causes God's children to stumble and hurt and cry.
A few years ago,a friend of mine had a severe heart attack, they had to use paddles on him numerous times. He ended up with bypass surgeries, and a pace maker. When he awoke, his first question to the doctors "Am I going to see Jesus today?" WOW! He did not go to Jesus that day, in fact he is teaching in a local church with enthusiasm and love for Jesus that I have never seen before. The point. That his first thought on waking was that he wanted to see his beloved Saviour, and was almost disappointed when he was told no.
I do not fear death any longer. I think understand more of what it is. It was introduced via Satan, Gods enemy. It was welcomed by satan to separate God and his children. It causes pain to us, God's precious creations, thus this must hurt my Heavenly Father. Nothing was suppose to die until sin was invited into the world.
Now, I do not fear death, for I will be at Jesus side. God knows when I am coming home, I can do nothing to change that, for It is already written. I pray God won't take me today or tomorrow, for I want to see the little ones grow up, I want to grow old with my beloved, but if it does, my fear is more for those I leave behind, that they will not fear death and I pray they will remain faithful that they will be with me in heaven some day.
Death is no longer the victor, for Jesus has beaten it, for the sake of you and me.
In the weekly study she has touched many things in which I have not thought of in a while, or just not cemented my thoughts on. Death being one of them. I am grateful for this as it causes me to really prove all things.
As a child I was fearful of death, due to lack of understanding the "bigger" picture. It was definately fear of the unknown moreso than to fear death itself.
Since we were a military family, we did not live close to grandparents and other family that much. I remember visiting my grandfather when I was about 8 or so, he quickly became a hero to me. He was so tall (from a childs persective) I was sure he could reach up and touch the stars, literally. A couple of years later, Grandpa and Gramma came to Arizona to visit us, again he filled my heart with knowing how much he loved me. I sat on his lap, his huge stature I could not help but feel safe.
After they returned home, my Grandpa died. I was angry and heartbroken. It was not fair.
Time went by, I got to spend time with my Nana and Grandad in England, another hero in my Grandad, we worked together for a while, and I lived with them for about 6 months. My darling Nana, never sat during the day, always busy, she patiently teaches me to knit, we take walks together, the gift of time. Then my sweet Grandad, always quick with a smile and a hug. Grandad died of cancer, Nana died of a stroke.
Again when they died, I was angry and broken...It was not fair!
Time goes by. My dad, my hero, for I always was a daddy's girl. I sat by his side, he struggled for years with this disease that was now killing him. He struggles for breath, unable to wake, but not quite asleep. I reassure him when he calls for my mother when she is out of the room that she will be back in just a moment. The breathing becomes more shallow, longer between each breath, until his chest no longer rises and falls. My hand on his chest, no beating. His hand is limp. His pain riddled body now looks at rest. This time the pain is unbearable, I cry out. I am heartbroken. But the anger is no longer there.
In reflection, the anger was misdirected fear of not knowing what happens. I had heard of all of the worldly teachings...maybe he will come back as a rat or a dog, maybe they would come back as a president or a pauper. Maybe there was nothing after death. Death scared me. Until my father's death, I had never witnessed death. It is an ugly, painful thing in which satan rejoices as he causes God's children to stumble and hurt and cry.
A few years ago,a friend of mine had a severe heart attack, they had to use paddles on him numerous times. He ended up with bypass surgeries, and a pace maker. When he awoke, his first question to the doctors "Am I going to see Jesus today?" WOW! He did not go to Jesus that day, in fact he is teaching in a local church with enthusiasm and love for Jesus that I have never seen before. The point. That his first thought on waking was that he wanted to see his beloved Saviour, and was almost disappointed when he was told no.
I do not fear death any longer. I think understand more of what it is. It was introduced via Satan, Gods enemy. It was welcomed by satan to separate God and his children. It causes pain to us, God's precious creations, thus this must hurt my Heavenly Father. Nothing was suppose to die until sin was invited into the world.
Now, I do not fear death, for I will be at Jesus side. God knows when I am coming home, I can do nothing to change that, for It is already written. I pray God won't take me today or tomorrow, for I want to see the little ones grow up, I want to grow old with my beloved, but if it does, my fear is more for those I leave behind, that they will not fear death and I pray they will remain faithful that they will be with me in heaven some day.
Death is no longer the victor, for Jesus has beaten it, for the sake of you and me.
Do I fear unbelief?
a href="http://www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com">
This past week (for I am running a week behind but will endevour to get caught up with Lynn) Lynn talked of unbelief, and how we with our little human minds, cannot or will not comprehend the simplicity of God's desire to love us and to be loved by us.
We have churches that have so many theological and doctrinal differences that we put up road blocks for new believers, even mature believers. With my heart being heavy with the teaching of Christian Hedonism, I have been aware this week of just how many times we take the celebrations/holidays and views of the world and try to transform them to a christian perspective. Thus we create our own road blocks, our own stumbling blocks and pull others down with us. I struggle with how this brings glory to God.
In reality, we don't need these worldy celebrations, we dont need books by other christians, we only need the wonderful words God has spoken to us.
In my youth, I did struggle with belief or periods lacking. In reflection, I have found that when I struggled with it, it was usually caused by an adult who I thought was a mature Christian and gave me poor substitute for Gods word. I was told at one time that the bible is outdated and only a history book...this was by a church leader. I was told at one time my daughter would not go to heaven because she was "illegitimate". My heart broke when my father was dying and my mother still clings to church of England beliefs that he would not go to heaven because he was not "confirmed". She would not/could not break away from old beliefs that he was saved! Rejoice mother, he is in heaven, of this I am sure!
What I have found since, is that God has enabled me to really "prove all things" and this carries with me now very strongly. Any "teaching" presented I take with sceptism until I can sit and prove it with the word of God.
Believing in Jesus means everything to me. Despite hardships and trials, it is in HIM that I have hope. It makes me to understand that this world is just temporary, a walk to take before spending forever with HIM. Believing in Jesus means a relationship with our LORD that cannot match anything this earth can give. Believing in Jesus, shows me that I will have a time that I will no longer cry (altho I do hope for tears of joy), there will be no pain, just Jesus. I can make it through every day because I know He is by my side and guiding me, showing me, but most of all....loving me.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Self Control
Dear friend,
Do I lack self control...let's see, I have not posted to last weeks meme until today because I was watching Molly and McGee. I wanted to see them grow. I did not take time to fulfill my commitment to my friend.
Do I lack self Control....daily, there are to many things available to distract me from what I should be doing or where I should be that would glorify God, not entertain me. To many toys and gadgets for "fun". The computer, my biggest downfall, I could spend all day in front of this box, hours passing as I research family tree, my unending quest for the perfect school curriculum, my love of learning, keeping up on the latest world news. In an of itself, these are not bad things, until I look at the clock and it is the wee hours of the morning, and I know that I will be tired, short tempered and easy to fly off the handle at those who I love the most. I will drag through the day waiting for a moment to sleep.
I know then I will not pick up God's word, for my tired eyes will not focus on the writings of my Lord when I so need them the most. I know that I will not be the best for my kids, for my husband but mostly for my LORD who knows I do need rest, especially in HIM.
Days that I do this, my whole family suffers. Should I lean on the gift that God has so graciously given me...this battle would not be, but as a toddler having a tantrum I dont want to...and in the words of my youngest "you cant make me". This is not entirely true, God could "make" me, but I have to be willing to let HIM grow me, change me and turn my sinful, filthy heart to HIM.
Do I lack self control...let's see, I have not posted to last weeks meme until today because I was watching Molly and McGee. I wanted to see them grow. I did not take time to fulfill my commitment to my friend.
Do I lack self Control....daily, there are to many things available to distract me from what I should be doing or where I should be that would glorify God, not entertain me. To many toys and gadgets for "fun". The computer, my biggest downfall, I could spend all day in front of this box, hours passing as I research family tree, my unending quest for the perfect school curriculum, my love of learning, keeping up on the latest world news. In an of itself, these are not bad things, until I look at the clock and it is the wee hours of the morning, and I know that I will be tired, short tempered and easy to fly off the handle at those who I love the most. I will drag through the day waiting for a moment to sleep.
I know then I will not pick up God's word, for my tired eyes will not focus on the writings of my Lord when I so need them the most. I know that I will not be the best for my kids, for my husband but mostly for my LORD who knows I do need rest, especially in HIM.
Days that I do this, my whole family suffers. Should I lean on the gift that God has so graciously given me...this battle would not be, but as a toddler having a tantrum I dont want to...and in the words of my youngest "you cant make me". This is not entirely true, God could "make" me, but I have to be willing to let HIM grow me, change me and turn my sinful, filthy heart to HIM.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Is Loving Others Hard To Do?
This weeks Growing in Faith deals with the hardest part I have in life, relationships. I don't maintain them well, I walk out on them when I feel that I have become to close or even quicker when I have been hurt or my family is hurt by them.
I find it difficult to love those outside my immediate circle of family. In growing up military, I was always the odd one out, I never did find a group, or circle of friends where I felt that I fit in. It was not until relatively recently that God has shown me it is because "I am in the world, not of the world." Things people would do I just would not want to be around.
This is especially hard for me when I have been hurt or even worse when someone hurts my husband, parents, daughter or grandchildren, I come out like a "mother bear protecting her cubs" and I do not willingly open myself up to that hurt again.
One christmas my BIL was invited to my home. He wanted to bring his girlfriend, we told him not to, as she was married with kids. She should spend the holiday with her children! He brought her anyway. The rest of DH family came as well, and treated me as if I were wrong not to welcome this adulterous relationship into my home.
A couple of months later, DH and I went to my MIL house trying to clear the air, at that point I was accused of things I had not said nor done. My SIL informed me the adulterous affair was between my BIL and his girlfriend and did not affect anyone else (okay, I have a problem with people who make stupid comments). My BIL told me that my husband needed to choose between him and me. My MIL sent a hateful letter for our next years Christmas card indicating that she wished we had never gotten married and that she hoped we divorced soon. I was also forbidden of speaking of the love and blessings God has provided us because "I talk of God to much". (Obviously they don't hold to a Christian faith)
This are relationships that 10 years later I wish to foster and grow. This is the greatest struggle that I have with understand the love of Jesus. I struggle when hubby wants us to meet with these people because they still have no respect for our marriage, but mostly, they have no respect for my faith and things which I find offensive. I struggle with their profanity, and pray my little ones will not pick up those "potty mouth" habits.
Thus my dilema. I don't wish harm on these people, I pray they will all seek God and come to worship him, but does it mean that I am not following Christ when I choose to limit contact with them?
I don't love easily, I pray God will grow me in this area. Amen
Won't you join us? Check out www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com
I find it difficult to love those outside my immediate circle of family. In growing up military, I was always the odd one out, I never did find a group, or circle of friends where I felt that I fit in. It was not until relatively recently that God has shown me it is because "I am in the world, not of the world." Things people would do I just would not want to be around.
This is especially hard for me when I have been hurt or even worse when someone hurts my husband, parents, daughter or grandchildren, I come out like a "mother bear protecting her cubs" and I do not willingly open myself up to that hurt again.
One christmas my BIL was invited to my home. He wanted to bring his girlfriend, we told him not to, as she was married with kids. She should spend the holiday with her children! He brought her anyway. The rest of DH family came as well, and treated me as if I were wrong not to welcome this adulterous relationship into my home.
A couple of months later, DH and I went to my MIL house trying to clear the air, at that point I was accused of things I had not said nor done. My SIL informed me the adulterous affair was between my BIL and his girlfriend and did not affect anyone else (okay, I have a problem with people who make stupid comments). My BIL told me that my husband needed to choose between him and me. My MIL sent a hateful letter for our next years Christmas card indicating that she wished we had never gotten married and that she hoped we divorced soon. I was also forbidden of speaking of the love and blessings God has provided us because "I talk of God to much". (Obviously they don't hold to a Christian faith)
This are relationships that 10 years later I wish to foster and grow. This is the greatest struggle that I have with understand the love of Jesus. I struggle when hubby wants us to meet with these people because they still have no respect for our marriage, but mostly, they have no respect for my faith and things which I find offensive. I struggle with their profanity, and pray my little ones will not pick up those "potty mouth" habits.
Thus my dilema. I don't wish harm on these people, I pray they will all seek God and come to worship him, but does it mean that I am not following Christ when I choose to limit contact with them?
I don't love easily, I pray God will grow me in this area. Amen
Won't you join us? Check out www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Having More Faith
Yesterday Lynn's study was on Faith...
Whether or not it is admitted, everyone has "faith" in something. We have faith that our brakes will work as we travel down the highway, we have faith in whether or not a bridge will hold us as we cross it, when we fly, we have faith that we will arrive safely. We have faith that when we are making decisions that we are making the right decisions. Scientist who believe in the "big bang theory" have faith that all the conditions were right to cause this to happen. Scientists who believe in evolution have faith that we "evolved" with nothing that really supports it.
As we walk through this life, we decide on where our faith will be placed. Jesus teaches that we have all the faith we need in him. (Praise to him for this gift) and he will give us each the faith we need, we just have to use it. I can choose each day if my faith is in God, or the things of this world, that which is temporary.
At times when I don't draw on my faith, that is when I am furthest from God...but who moved? I immerse myself in His word, I pray I bring myself back to HIM, where I need to be, where I am suppose to be. For me it is not a matter of having "more faith" but am I using what God has given me?
Whether or not it is admitted, everyone has "faith" in something. We have faith that our brakes will work as we travel down the highway, we have faith in whether or not a bridge will hold us as we cross it, when we fly, we have faith that we will arrive safely. We have faith that when we are making decisions that we are making the right decisions. Scientist who believe in the "big bang theory" have faith that all the conditions were right to cause this to happen. Scientists who believe in evolution have faith that we "evolved" with nothing that really supports it.
As we walk through this life, we decide on where our faith will be placed. Jesus teaches that we have all the faith we need in him. (Praise to him for this gift) and he will give us each the faith we need, we just have to use it. I can choose each day if my faith is in God, or the things of this world, that which is temporary.
At times when I don't draw on my faith, that is when I am furthest from God...but who moved? I immerse myself in His word, I pray I bring myself back to HIM, where I need to be, where I am suppose to be. For me it is not a matter of having "more faith" but am I using what God has given me?
Friday, March 12, 2010
Anger with God
http://www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com
Anger with God is the question raised by Lynn this week.
I am grateful that if I have ever been angry at God, I don't recall it. (Father, show me if this is the case and if I need to repent.) I may have started down that path, but the Lord has been faithful to show me where my actions caused the situation, forgiveness came but I still must live the consequences.'
My testimony about becoming a Christian is not one of those moments when God showed himself to me in a moment of crisis or glory. It was God reflecting HIS patience with HIS child.
As a child I was drawn to God, I went to Church regulary, my parents did not go, they had a conflict of religion (my father was not raised in church, my mother in church of England). I went mostly to baptist and/or assembly of God churches. God waited.
When our family was stationed in England (my father was career Air Force) I was in my late teens, there were no churches, this is when I was farthest from God, and my behaviour and decisions showed it. I dabbled in so much that God had forbidden. My bible sat on the shelf and collected dust. My prayers were non-existant. Yet HE waited.
I was in my early 20's and a single mom, I went to churches, but was unimpressed (for lack of a better word). At one church I was thrown in to teach sunday school (I was not equipped for this yet, and quickly determined the theology of the church did not come close to what I knew was right), at another church I was told I could attend but I needed to understand that my dau was not going to heaven because of my decisions. (HUH?). Other churches we were excluded because my Daughters father was not in the picture (okay, by this time he was dead but that was deemed irrelevant). Yet another church, God showed me to "get out" for it was a full fledged cult. And God waited.
Through these experiences, I was quickly able to learn that people were the "culprit" not God. Had I devoutly followed HIS will, HIS law and been listening for HIS desires for me, I would not be where I am now.
It is our own sinful nature and decisions that bring us where we are, we can either dwell on and resent the circumstances, or we can identify the problem (which is usually a sin based problem), and repent and grow. Our culture is quick to blame others for circumstances, and play the victim of others, when in reality we are victims to our own poor decisions and even when we choose to repent and change course we still have to live through the consequences of our decisions.
I have come to learn that God does ALWAYS answer prayer, sometimes it is "YES" sometimes "NO", or my least favorite "WAIT".
As far as anger to GOD....
1. HIS strenght is sufficient.
2. HIS will is perfect.
3. His love for us is never ending.
4. There is nothing affecting our lives that HE has not given approval to.
Lynn referenced in particular:
Cain...knew that he was trying to sacrifice to GOD his own way, he blamed God and Able rather than take responsiblity for his own decision.
JOB...Satan had to ask God for permission to test him, had JOB been of weaker faith and not able to withstand and endure Satan's attacks, God would have said NO...
David...each of David's hardships were either to 1. Grow him in the Lord, or 2. a direct consequence of His poor decisions. And still, God described David as "A man after my own heart."
I pray I may seek God daily, follow HIM without hesitation, that HE may one day say to me, "Well done my good and faithful servant"
Anger with God is the question raised by Lynn this week.
I am grateful that if I have ever been angry at God, I don't recall it. (Father, show me if this is the case and if I need to repent.) I may have started down that path, but the Lord has been faithful to show me where my actions caused the situation, forgiveness came but I still must live the consequences.'
My testimony about becoming a Christian is not one of those moments when God showed himself to me in a moment of crisis or glory. It was God reflecting HIS patience with HIS child.
As a child I was drawn to God, I went to Church regulary, my parents did not go, they had a conflict of religion (my father was not raised in church, my mother in church of England). I went mostly to baptist and/or assembly of God churches. God waited.
When our family was stationed in England (my father was career Air Force) I was in my late teens, there were no churches, this is when I was farthest from God, and my behaviour and decisions showed it. I dabbled in so much that God had forbidden. My bible sat on the shelf and collected dust. My prayers were non-existant. Yet HE waited.
I was in my early 20's and a single mom, I went to churches, but was unimpressed (for lack of a better word). At one church I was thrown in to teach sunday school (I was not equipped for this yet, and quickly determined the theology of the church did not come close to what I knew was right), at another church I was told I could attend but I needed to understand that my dau was not going to heaven because of my decisions. (HUH?). Other churches we were excluded because my Daughters father was not in the picture (okay, by this time he was dead but that was deemed irrelevant). Yet another church, God showed me to "get out" for it was a full fledged cult. And God waited.
Through these experiences, I was quickly able to learn that people were the "culprit" not God. Had I devoutly followed HIS will, HIS law and been listening for HIS desires for me, I would not be where I am now.
It is our own sinful nature and decisions that bring us where we are, we can either dwell on and resent the circumstances, or we can identify the problem (which is usually a sin based problem), and repent and grow. Our culture is quick to blame others for circumstances, and play the victim of others, when in reality we are victims to our own poor decisions and even when we choose to repent and change course we still have to live through the consequences of our decisions.
I have come to learn that God does ALWAYS answer prayer, sometimes it is "YES" sometimes "NO", or my least favorite "WAIT".
As far as anger to GOD....
1. HIS strenght is sufficient.
2. HIS will is perfect.
3. His love for us is never ending.
4. There is nothing affecting our lives that HE has not given approval to.
Lynn referenced in particular:
Cain...knew that he was trying to sacrifice to GOD his own way, he blamed God and Able rather than take responsiblity for his own decision.
JOB...Satan had to ask God for permission to test him, had JOB been of weaker faith and not able to withstand and endure Satan's attacks, God would have said NO...
David...each of David's hardships were either to 1. Grow him in the Lord, or 2. a direct consequence of His poor decisions. And still, God described David as "A man after my own heart."
I pray I may seek God daily, follow HIM without hesitation, that HE may one day say to me, "Well done my good and faithful servant"
Friday, March 5, 2010
Overcoming Sin in My Life
Today at http://www.ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com/ the discussion of Overcoming sin in our lives. Praise be to God, that our sin does not forever cut us off from Our LORD. It is by HIS mercy that we are forgiven (side note: I remember doing a word study on the word
Does sin bother me? Absolutely, how can I be an example if indeed I cant keep on the path? Often I carry the guilt, especially when I find myself doing the same things again and again (how does that definition of insanity go? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results) I have also grown to realize the pain it must cause GOD each and every time we distance ourselves from HIS ways.
In the past, I always perceived sin as just "breaking the rules", through age and maturity, I have come to realize that sin is breaking away from God. Nothing more, wanting it my way, a selfish and arrogant path that pulls me farther and farther away from the one who created me.
When the Holy Spirit convicts my sinful ways...it is beyond guilt, I feel sorrow knowing that I hurt the One who loves me most.
Feeling the power of gratitude towards a God who forgives me so much. I have struggled through some dark times in which I felt nothing but total despair. Gratitude comes when HE pulls me out of these pits I have fallen into and brings "sonlight" to my life again. HE has given me so much, to often taken for granted.
Thank you Lynn for these weekly reminders
mercyI shall never forget another choice of words could have been the word
pitySomehow, when I read those words, I am truly quieted by HIS gift of pity.)
Does sin bother me? Absolutely, how can I be an example if indeed I cant keep on the path? Often I carry the guilt, especially when I find myself doing the same things again and again (how does that definition of insanity go? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results) I have also grown to realize the pain it must cause GOD each and every time we distance ourselves from HIS ways.
In the past, I always perceived sin as just "breaking the rules", through age and maturity, I have come to realize that sin is breaking away from God. Nothing more, wanting it my way, a selfish and arrogant path that pulls me farther and farther away from the one who created me.
When the Holy Spirit convicts my sinful ways...it is beyond guilt, I feel sorrow knowing that I hurt the One who loves me most.
Feeling the power of gratitude towards a God who forgives me so much. I have struggled through some dark times in which I felt nothing but total despair. Gratitude comes when HE pulls me out of these pits I have fallen into and brings "sonlight" to my life again. HE has given me so much, to often taken for granted.
Thank you Lynn for these weekly reminders
Friday, February 26, 2010
Am I Uncomfortable With Doubts
This week at Ladybug-chronicles, the question was asked about doubt.
Noun 1. doubt - the state of being unsure of something
Throught the years, I no longer doubt the existance of God, I cannot as I am reminded of HIM daily, and I just have to look back on my life to see HIS hand at every turn.
I recall times when I did not think I would make it through situations, doubting whether or not GOD cared...where was HE? I would find that someone would come up to me...a total stranger usually, and I would be called to witness then pray for this other person, this has happened to me more than once...God showed me each time...I have wondered if these were angels, for altho' I have wiped away strangers tears, it was me that was cared for. Looking back on these same situations, I clearly see what HE was doing...a ha moments! I remeber my father telling us "hindsight is 20/20"...how very true.
My doubts now more relate to myself, decisions I make, and dare I ask "why" certain things happen. I doubt my decisions and whether or not they are in God's Will, I doubt...question Him as to why certain things happen (as if somehow I should be exempt?) I find myself unsure of the paths we...I have chosen...My doubt is more often in my own salvation.
Do I feel guilty....sometimes I do...for I am doubting what Jesus did for me...This in itself minimizes HIS role in my life.
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
This verse ....again God knows what I need....for this past week I am glad to have over. I don't know the cause, but sleep has not come easily for me...and it has impacted my whole family. This week, my spirit has felt crushed, and I have not sought GOD, as a result my heart has been heavy and my mood short, resulting in a constant feeling of defeat (a duh moment...God already won!)....
Father God...
Help me to guard my heart and mind from doubt, for this attacks the wellspring of life...Show me YOUR will Father, help guide my steps that I do not stray from YOU.
Grow me to be stronger in my faith, more than I could ever imagine.
It is through my faith and my love for you that I can embolden the servants heart I so want to grow to care for this family you have given me.
In Jesus Name....
AMEN
Noun 1. doubt - the state of being unsure of something
Throught the years, I no longer doubt the existance of God, I cannot as I am reminded of HIM daily, and I just have to look back on my life to see HIS hand at every turn.
I recall times when I did not think I would make it through situations, doubting whether or not GOD cared...where was HE? I would find that someone would come up to me...a total stranger usually, and I would be called to witness then pray for this other person, this has happened to me more than once...God showed me each time...I have wondered if these were angels, for altho' I have wiped away strangers tears, it was me that was cared for. Looking back on these same situations, I clearly see what HE was doing...a ha moments! I remeber my father telling us "hindsight is 20/20"...how very true.
My doubts now more relate to myself, decisions I make, and dare I ask "why" certain things happen. I doubt my decisions and whether or not they are in God's Will, I doubt...question Him as to why certain things happen (as if somehow I should be exempt?) I find myself unsure of the paths we...I have chosen...My doubt is more often in my own salvation.
Do I feel guilty....sometimes I do...for I am doubting what Jesus did for me...This in itself minimizes HIS role in my life.
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
This verse ....again God knows what I need....for this past week I am glad to have over. I don't know the cause, but sleep has not come easily for me...and it has impacted my whole family. This week, my spirit has felt crushed, and I have not sought GOD, as a result my heart has been heavy and my mood short, resulting in a constant feeling of defeat (a duh moment...God already won!)....
Father God...
Help me to guard my heart and mind from doubt, for this attacks the wellspring of life...Show me YOUR will Father, help guide my steps that I do not stray from YOU.
Grow me to be stronger in my faith, more than I could ever imagine.
It is through my faith and my love for you that I can embolden the servants heart I so want to grow to care for this family you have given me.
In Jesus Name....
AMEN
Friday, February 19, 2010
Why do I want Jesus in my Life
One of my friends started a MEME/weekly devotional for Growing in Faith....If you want to link in go to http://ladybug-chronicles.blogspot.com.
One of the questions was to describe a time in which you knew Jesus was with you?
SO MANY...those that come to mind relate to my family.
January 2000, the birth of my first grandson, I held this precious gift only few minutes old, his lips were blue, skin was ashen and he struggled to breath. He was diagnosed with Strep B...often fatal in babies. For the next week, his o2 levels were dangerously low, he had a little plastic hood to increase his oxegen levels. He was fed thru IV because they were afraid he would aspirate, watching his young mother(my precious baby girl) try to comprehend what was going on through the fear and uncertainty. Every time we even touched him, his respirations would increase, pulse would increase...we were told not to touch him. I stood over his isolette in the NICU stepdown and prayed over this child. This was my first real experience with real intercessory prayer as guided by the Holy Spirit. Tears fell for this little child, and with each tear, my love for him grew, as did my love for Jesus who never left my side.
That same month, my father had already been severly crippled up with a 18 year battle with arthritis. In January he went to the hospital because he bloated with fluid retention...40 pounds worth! That year he went thru the amputation of a leg, artirial bipass in his remaining leg, he went through a round of sepsis. He broke his neck (a complication of the arthritis) and had to have it fused, he struggled to come out of that surgery and ended up on a feeding tube, we were told he would never be able to eat normally again. He was in the hospital that year more often that not. The year culminated with us being told he needed a pericardectomy, but the surgeon would not do it, because he would not survive the surgery. My dear mom, argued with him...and won. The surgeon did the pericardectomy and gave praise to God for my fathers survival. His pericardium was suppose to be thin like paper, the complications of arthritis had caused it to thicken to about as thick as a thick orange peel, it was strangling his heart.
By December of 2000 he was in rehab, I had gone up there to spend a couple of hours with him and cried as I helped him hold a spoon to eat real food and the smile on his face as I brough him a cup of coffee. That Christmas day, we signed him out for the day and he ate Christmas dinner with us. The day after new years he was released to come home.
As I sat in the hospital room(s), if dad was asleep, prayer seemed elusive, but the Holy Spirit provided the words. That year my father survived and thrived beyond what any doctor could dare to hope for. Yes, I do believe in miracles!
In October 2006, my father fell out of his wheelchair, by this time he was a full quad, my mother tried to get him up then called me to help. I knew I was not strong enough to lift him, but I did. That day he broke his leg and developed another case of sepsis. We went through almost 3 months of small daily miracles battling one medical crisis over another. Decisions made regarding his care, fear of life without him, my mother's heart breaking each day to the point it was visible, and I could not do anything to take away her pain, sorrow and fear. Moments when my father was alert enough to laugh (oh how I miss his laughter!)
My biggest fear, I did not know if my father was saved...we had found that he was suffering from aspiration pneumonia repeatedly, he was treated for that, resulting in him becoming more lucid and he asked us...to pray with him. The spirit of God moved over me, I knew my father was saved, God answered my prayer.
During this time, God put me on a fast, I literally survived on about 100 calories a day because all I could hold down was fruit and water,anything else made me ill. During this time, despite the fears, sorrow, anger and emotional turmoil that accompanies the death of a loved one, I was blessed to experience a sense of peace I could not explain. I experienced the opportunity to witness to others who had family in the hospital.
These have been the hardest most horrendous times in my life. Without Jesus being by my side, I don't not know how I would have gotten through these times.
....I prayed for the healing of my father, he died December 2006. God showed me that He had healed my father, just not the way I was thinking of, for my dad is now in the presence of Jesus, his body again whole...with both legs,hands that can again grasp and hold,and no more pain...
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelations 21:4
Dear Sweet Father,
This time has caused me to recall how when I was at my lowest, YOU never left my side. When my heart was fearful and breaking, Your loving arms strenghtened me and comforted me. When I felt so alone, Your love alone overwhelmed me. For that, words alone cannot thank you, I am grateful that YOU can see into my heart and pray it shows you how much I truly love you.
It has brought back joyful moments as well, when YOU rejoiced with me and for me. Thank you for your faithfulness and your love for me. When You showed me the earth and the heavens singing praise to YOU the creator, moments in which I felt so small, and so wholly loved by YOU.
In your son's holy and precious name
Amen
One of the questions was to describe a time in which you knew Jesus was with you?
SO MANY...those that come to mind relate to my family.
January 2000, the birth of my first grandson, I held this precious gift only few minutes old, his lips were blue, skin was ashen and he struggled to breath. He was diagnosed with Strep B...often fatal in babies. For the next week, his o2 levels were dangerously low, he had a little plastic hood to increase his oxegen levels. He was fed thru IV because they were afraid he would aspirate, watching his young mother(my precious baby girl) try to comprehend what was going on through the fear and uncertainty. Every time we even touched him, his respirations would increase, pulse would increase...we were told not to touch him. I stood over his isolette in the NICU stepdown and prayed over this child. This was my first real experience with real intercessory prayer as guided by the Holy Spirit. Tears fell for this little child, and with each tear, my love for him grew, as did my love for Jesus who never left my side.
That same month, my father had already been severly crippled up with a 18 year battle with arthritis. In January he went to the hospital because he bloated with fluid retention...40 pounds worth! That year he went thru the amputation of a leg, artirial bipass in his remaining leg, he went through a round of sepsis. He broke his neck (a complication of the arthritis) and had to have it fused, he struggled to come out of that surgery and ended up on a feeding tube, we were told he would never be able to eat normally again. He was in the hospital that year more often that not. The year culminated with us being told he needed a pericardectomy, but the surgeon would not do it, because he would not survive the surgery. My dear mom, argued with him...and won. The surgeon did the pericardectomy and gave praise to God for my fathers survival. His pericardium was suppose to be thin like paper, the complications of arthritis had caused it to thicken to about as thick as a thick orange peel, it was strangling his heart.
By December of 2000 he was in rehab, I had gone up there to spend a couple of hours with him and cried as I helped him hold a spoon to eat real food and the smile on his face as I brough him a cup of coffee. That Christmas day, we signed him out for the day and he ate Christmas dinner with us. The day after new years he was released to come home.
As I sat in the hospital room(s), if dad was asleep, prayer seemed elusive, but the Holy Spirit provided the words. That year my father survived and thrived beyond what any doctor could dare to hope for. Yes, I do believe in miracles!
In October 2006, my father fell out of his wheelchair, by this time he was a full quad, my mother tried to get him up then called me to help. I knew I was not strong enough to lift him, but I did. That day he broke his leg and developed another case of sepsis. We went through almost 3 months of small daily miracles battling one medical crisis over another. Decisions made regarding his care, fear of life without him, my mother's heart breaking each day to the point it was visible, and I could not do anything to take away her pain, sorrow and fear. Moments when my father was alert enough to laugh (oh how I miss his laughter!)
My biggest fear, I did not know if my father was saved...we had found that he was suffering from aspiration pneumonia repeatedly, he was treated for that, resulting in him becoming more lucid and he asked us...to pray with him. The spirit of God moved over me, I knew my father was saved, God answered my prayer.
During this time, God put me on a fast, I literally survived on about 100 calories a day because all I could hold down was fruit and water,anything else made me ill. During this time, despite the fears, sorrow, anger and emotional turmoil that accompanies the death of a loved one, I was blessed to experience a sense of peace I could not explain. I experienced the opportunity to witness to others who had family in the hospital.
These have been the hardest most horrendous times in my life. Without Jesus being by my side, I don't not know how I would have gotten through these times.
....I prayed for the healing of my father, he died December 2006. God showed me that He had healed my father, just not the way I was thinking of, for my dad is now in the presence of Jesus, his body again whole...with both legs,hands that can again grasp and hold,and no more pain...
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelations 21:4
Dear Sweet Father,
This time has caused me to recall how when I was at my lowest, YOU never left my side. When my heart was fearful and breaking, Your loving arms strenghtened me and comforted me. When I felt so alone, Your love alone overwhelmed me. For that, words alone cannot thank you, I am grateful that YOU can see into my heart and pray it shows you how much I truly love you.
It has brought back joyful moments as well, when YOU rejoiced with me and for me. Thank you for your faithfulness and your love for me. When You showed me the earth and the heavens singing praise to YOU the creator, moments in which I felt so small, and so wholly loved by YOU.
In your son's holy and precious name
Amen
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